School

School has ended and I should be posting a million pictures and talking about how great the kids did, which they did.  They are in swim team now, the older 2, and working hard and improving all the time.  They had their piano recital in mid-May and did great!  It amazes me how young they are and how well they play.  I am so proud of them.  They both had awards days at school.  Dallin got "most enthusiastic" and the music award.  They also both got perfect attendance.  They have never had a year without several absences, we have definitely been blessed with pretty good health this school year.  They both got a stomach bug (Devin too) over spring break, but that's pretty much it.  Good job Flinstones vitamins!! Emily was on the honor roll, (all A's and 2 B's for the year), won the music award and "most prepared".  They both are doing really well.  School ended and for months I have been dreading how I would handle the 4 of them this summer being pregnant with number 5.  Devin is a handful, but he is slowly listening more, which is nice, but he is still only 2, which means that fits and hitting and screaming are all part of the gig. 

Well, a couple of months ago I was reminded of an ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) school that I have heard about years ago.  More and more we have realized that Kylie has become increasingly difficult and completely undisciplined.  We didn't know how to make things better. There is no consequence that she recognizes as a consequence.  She is getting bigger and older and so much harder.  We have struggled.  I have been really really struggling with her.  So, when one day a friend told me she was touring a local ABA school and that one had moved out in our area, I knew we should look into it.  Well, after tons of paperwork and visits and tours and evaluations and meetings, she has officially started her 40 hours/week regimen.  This type of therapy was initially designed for autistic children, but it greatly applies to Kylie.  They are working with sign/communication and all of her many many behavior problems.  She is gone 8 hours a day, working one on one with a therapist the entire time.  After only 4 days we are starting to see some very minor improvements, even though she comes home completely and utterly exhausted.  The cost of this school is astronomical, but so far insurance is paying the massive bulk of it.  As long as they keep paying, this is such a huge blessing.

It's hard to even admit this, but the last few days have taught me a great deal about myself and her.  The first couple of days I would keep shutting doors or turn around in the car to hand her toys or think that I heard her crying somewhere and go and look for her.  My life was so wound up.  I ran errands yesterday with the other 3 kids and for the first time in 5 years,  I realized that yes, it really is that much harder having her.  Being a mother to 3 "normal" kids is sooooo easy by comparison.  Sure there are squabbles and fights and teaching and disciplining, but I feel patience slowly eeking back into me.  I feel peace slowly coming back.  I am so grateful that the majority of my day is less stressful and that my sweet daughter is in a place that she is learning to become a more productive member of our family and she is happy.  It's a weird place to be, feeling less stressed and more relaxed at 33 weeks pregnant, but here I am and so very grateful.